Sleep

I like Sleep. And after a weekend of Yuengling-filled Bubba Kegs, camp fires, great friends and late, late nights...I needed Sleep. So I went to sleep early and woke up late, thus a short post. But don't think I shall leave you unfulfilled. To make your visit to Andy Locke Likes worth your while, here is a favorite video of mine to keep you entertained:

Sunny Mondays

I like Sunny Mondays. It's hard to wake up on Monday mornings and think anything positive or pleasant. Not impossible, but somewhat difficult. But sometimes there are little things that can help make that transition from a Weekend of great friends and memorable experiences to the start of the weekly grind of commutes, Clients and time sheets. Sunny Monday mornings can be just the ticket.

When the work week is kicked off with dark clouds and rain drops, you feel as though your head is suddenly Velcroed to your pillow. You need to literally rip one from the other just to get up. And even then the weight of a crappy morning weighs you down, forcing your body back to the bed and your head to the Velcro pillow.

However, when the Sun peeks through the shades and tickles your face, all that weight and Velcro seem to disappear. Your body rises with ease and feels refreshed for the start of a new day, a new week. At least that's how I feel on a day like today. It is beautiful and sunny and even though I'd rather be waking up to the smell of beer, bacon and (Buddha?) the fresh air of the middle of nowhere with some of my favorite people, I'll take a Sunny Monday in Baltimore.

Camp Fires

I like Camp Fires. The sun sets on a hot and humid afternoon, giving way to the crisp coolness of the summer night. Friends gather round, congregating in a circle of tree stumps, camping chairs and cooler lids, to share stories of times gone by and times to come. The faint strum of a guitar string slowly crescendos to a chorus of 80s power ballads. With beers held high and arms wrapped around their neighbor, everybody stands and sings. Smiling and laughing and forgetting the lyrics, the circle in the woods is alive with life even in the dead of night. And as the song winds down, it hits its final note and silence falls among the orange, glowing faces. Silence challenged only by the pop, crack, pop of the Camp Fire.

Touching all five senses, a Camp Fire is in and of itself a living memory. The smell of burning wood, the taste of smokey goodness, the sight of pulsating embers, the feeling of warmth, and the sound of crackling twigs--Camp Fires can take me back to any summer of any year of my life. Whether a family trip, summer camp, vacations, or on annual excursions to the woods for a Weekend, the Camp Fire is the constant connection that binds these different experiences into one, unified happy memory.

As the summer ramps up over the next few weeks, go out and start a fire. You heard me, start a fire. A controlled one, of course. Gather some logs, some twigs and branches, too. Find a pit, a match, some beer and good friends and family. And just let the Camp Fire guide you through the night. It may be a memorable night or it may be a blip in your life, regardless, for those few hours of night, you'll experience the only fire and flame that can be called heaven. Have a great weekend and I hope you enjoy H.T. Adjemian's posts while I am away!

STARTING MONDAY
Andy Locke Likes what H.T. Adjemian Likes

Special guest blogger, H.T. Adjemian, will be filling in for me while I am away on vacation. He's a swell guy and I think you'll like him.

Bacon

I like Bacon. Scratch that--I love Bacon. Bacon is glorious. Bacon makes the world go round. Bacon is the food of the gods. If I were on death row and had to choose my final meal, it would certainly include a heaping (yes, heaping) amount of bacon. Bacon is the way, the truth and the li--oh wait, that's Jesus. Ok, Bacon is awesome. Can I get an AMEN?!?

And these days Bacon is everywhere--we have Bacon-flavored ice cream, Bacon vodka, Bacon sex dreams, Bacon hangover remedies, Vegetarians who love Bacon, Bacon lube, Bacon as a condiment, the Bacon Brothers, and on and on. (Thanks to all the friends who have sent these links around in the past few weeks/months). There hasn't been a product with so many uses since George Washington Carver revolutionized the peanut. UPDATE The Baconator has asked that I post this video of Jim Gaffigan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaK9bjLy3v4

Next week I will be seeing some great old friends, some who I see but once a year at this time. We'll catch up, tell stories, and recount past times, all while sitting drinking from our beer-filled Bubba Kegs and devouring endless amounts of Bacon. It's truly what binds our friendship all together. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

COMING NEXT WEEK:
Andy Locke Likes what H.T. Adjemian Likes

Special guest blogger, H.T. Adjemian, will be filling in for me while I am away on vacation. He once wore a fedora made of Bacon--and ate it.

Bubba Keg

I like Bubba Keg. Do you enjoy beer in the summertime? Does your beer get warm in the summer sun? Yes and yes? Okay, good. Before you continue reading, please take a moment to purchase a Bubba Keg. All summer beer should be drank out of a 52 oz. Bubba Keg. Go ahead, I'll wait. Trust me, this blog will be here when you get back. And to make the time away a little more grand, here is some background music for you while you make your purchase. Sing along if you'd like. *UPDATE* The original Biz Markie video was taken off YouTube. But I found another version of the song (just ignore the video).

Done? Good. In about 5-7 business days, you're Big Ass Mug will arrive. When it does, the first thing you'll want to do is put Beer Inside. After that, just drink. And please, I urge you to go and sit out in the sweltering summer heat with your ice cold beer in your Bubba Keg. It's going to stay cold. And it is GLORIOUS! (Sure beats a plastic measuring cup)

COMING NEXT WEEK:
Andy Locke Likes what H.T. Adjemian Likes

Special guest blogger, H.T. Adjemian, will be filling in for me while I am away on vacation. And for those scoring at home, H.T. Adjemian just grounded into a 6-4-3 double play.

Labyrinth

I like Labyrinth. Not because it is an Oscar-worthy film from 1986, but because it begs the obvious question, "What was Jim Henson smoking in 1986?" He was probably hanging with his buddies one night, passing 'round the happy pipe, having a conversation kind of like this:

JIM HENSON

Dude, I am Jim "fucking" Henson. I created the Muppets, Sesame Street, and Fraggle Rock--HELLO!! I am the real Master of Puppets. I can come up with any ca ca story and some Hollywood nutbag will make it into a movie.

STONER BUDDY #1

Duuuude, you should make a movie with Bowie.

JIM HENSON

Oh, God no. Ziggy Stardust? Really?

STONER BUDDY #2

Hehehe, and make him King of the Midgets. No wait, King of the Goblins!

STONER BUDDY #1

Yeah! King of the Goblins.

JIM HENSON

Hmm. That's an awful idea. I like it! Let's have Ziggy look like a strung out Jamie Lee Curtis in a leotard. And he can--he can---Oh! He can kidnap a baby and threaten to turn it into a goblin, while simultaneously hitting on the baby's teenage sister.

STONER BUDDY #1

You are a genius.

STONER BUDDY #2

What about a swamp that farts?

JIM HENSON

Oh my god, that's gold. Yes! What should we call it?

STONER BUDDY #2

Swamp Fart and the Goblin King!

JIM HENSON

Eh. Too literal. We need something more...puzzling...

STONER BUDDY #1

Labyrinth? It sounds like labia. Hehehe.

STONER BUDDY #2

Anything having to do with the female anatomy is puzzling to you.

JIM HENSON

Labyrinth! It's perfect! Now pass me the Cheetohs! Daddy got the munchies!

END SCENE

Do yourself a favor and rent Labyrinth from Netflix so you, too, can be amazed at how f'ed up cult classics are supposed to be made. Enough of this Napoleon Dynamite crap. The kids today need more farting swamps, grizzly goblins, and David Bowie in leotards. God bless you Jim Henson!

P.S. Labyrinth also stars a young Jennifer Connolly.
P.P.S. She calls her goblin friend, Hoggle, the wrong name at the beginning of the film. What does she call him, you ask? Hogwarts. Interesting...

COMING NEXT WEEK:
Andy Locke Likes what H.T. Adjemian Likes

Special guest blogger, H.T. Adjemian, will be filling in for me while I am away on vacation. He's kind of like P.T. Barnum, minus the stench of elephant dung. You'll dig his posts.

BlackBerry

I like BlackBerry. Recently, I was given a great, great new contraption--a BlackBerry--by my work. Now you may say, "New? Andy, get with the times, yo! That ain't new." Besides needing to work on your grammar, you need to understand that I am not behind the times, and yes I realize that just about every business person and their grandmothers have a BlackBerry or similar PDA device. It's just that--this is my first!

I came from the realm of thinking that phones are meant to merely call people. Texting I felt was okay, too. Photographs was pushing it, and anything else was just plain silly. Well, now that my skinny fingers have caressed the teeny, plastic keys, jumped at the ding of a new email, and perused the Internet from the john--all of that is out the window.

Let me just say, however, that I will not be one of those people who constantly check their BlackBerry every second of the day and night. At least after the honeymoon. I apologize in advance to anyone who I interrupt in order to view a message, text my Mom, respond to a Client, or quickly search IMDB to win a bet. I promise it won't always be like this. Just let me play with my shiny, new toy until I get tired of it. Thank you.